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DOING AWAY WITH DOWRY
What is the Biblical mandate on the nuptial present better known as Dowry?
Sad but true that this social malaise afflicting the Indian society at large
has wormed its way into the Church also, at least in some of the places’.
The male chauvinists reading this piece are not going to like it one bit,
if told that Bible records & endorses acts of the Bridegroom or his
representatives giving marital gifts to the Bride & her relatives
& not vice-versa.
Quite often during the Christian engagement functions or marriages, the marriage of
Issac & Rebekah– as perfectly arranged marriage, as any- is focused upon
( Genesis 24th chapter),
which is a right thing to do for various reasons.
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For instance in that case both the boy & the
girl leave the selection of their mates to their devout parents, who had the best interests of
their offspring in their heart & the parents in turn totally make pleasing God their main goal
even whilst selecting the mates for their children. The result of it all? God miraculously
unites 2 families having similar priorities, which were leaving hundreds of miles apart at a
time communication & travel facilities were at best primitive.
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A closer scrutiny of this perfect marriage would reveal that it was the Bridegroom or his
representative who lavished the Bride & her relatives with the precious gifts
( Genesis 24:53).
If, we are recounting this perfect marriage during the functions relating to Christian marriage,
why do not we take a cue from this marriage as regards Dowry also?
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Not only in the afore-recorded instance but in other places’ also such as
Genesis 34:12 or
I Samuel 23-25, we see that it is actually the prospective bridegroom who is expressing his
willingness to give a marital gift. So, if at all Dowry has to figure in a Christian marriage,
let it be a case of Bridegroom & his parents presenting gifts to the prospective bride & her
parents!
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Those who argue that Dowry needs to be taken to offset the educational expenses of their son (how silly,
is it not the parental duty to provide education to their offspring?) ought to be reminded of the fact that
their daughter-in-law too would bring her expertise on home-management, sanitation, cooking etc
(whose value cannot be quantified) to their homes courtesy the training she has received at her home.
Should they not by same logic compensate her parents for the training they have given their daughters on
these priceless facets of home maintenance?
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At a time every right-thinking individual is condemning this despicable
act of seeking & taking dowry, let’s also resolve not to bring any shame to the
precious name of our Savior by staying as far as possible from this ‘dowry business’.
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Suresh Manoharan
The list of essays to follow
- In the Sports field....
- Honouring the National flag
- Don't tax the tax man
- Employer satisfaction nay... delight
- Capital Punishment
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